I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
