maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she smelled like a LAN party
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
