clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
operation have a gay friend backfired
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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