idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
