There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize