I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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