we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize