I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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