We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
