Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
