That's intense
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
