how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
