Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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