she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
