Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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