If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
