That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
