my soul wont recognize me after tonight
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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