so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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