Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
