I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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