She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
