...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
