feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I want her autograph on my taint
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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