we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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