If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
