I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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