Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
