just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
