I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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