I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
