I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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