All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
