this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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