it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
