Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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