Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
