Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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