Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
