yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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