worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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