ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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