What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
