I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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