I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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