My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
