New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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