So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
These tits shall not be calmed
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
