It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
