Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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