Me. At least after what I've been through.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
