i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
