and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
