it wasn't lemon gatorade
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
