Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
there is glitter all over my balls
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
