He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize