Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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